Comeback post – 1.5 years later…


I stopped blogging for a good 1.5 years. I probably stopped cause of a dramatic event that happened in my life on Jan and March 2011. I grieved and i cried alot. That explains the absence from blogging tho i still tweet…I have no mood to blog at all. I am not mentally prepared to blog about the incidents too.

After the incident i grew much, in terms of getting into being more financially independent, However, it comes with a great price, stresses. In this post and the next few posts, I am going to blog all the things that I’ve missed for the past 1.5 years…So bear w me!

As before my 2nd semester in NTU starts, a tragedy strikes. This particular morning on Jan 2011, when my dad is on the way back to Johor Specialist Hospital to visit my grandma as per normal, the phone at our house rang. It was Big Aunt, She said grandma cant make it already, she did her best. I only visited her once at the hospital after my final exams of my first semester and she passed away the next few days. My grandma passed away at the age of 84 after hospitalized after a fall at home. I feel heartache cause I she really hope she can do it without any pain but she’s suffering in hospital instead. However, my dad feel the pain much more. Even though, he did not expressed but we all know. Both my paternal grandparents were gone and I feel that my dad felt really lonely due to the fact that he’s always busy working in Singapore and did not had much time to spend time with my grandma tho we visit her as much as we could.

After all the funeral, all things back to normal again. I came back to Singapore to prepare for my 2nd semster! My 1st semester’s results were bad due to stress that i cant cope so avoidance syndrome came haunting me. Just as I promised to work harder for 2nd semester, another unfortunate event strike.

On March 2011, my dad had a massive headache while working and became unconscious. My 2nd brother felt something is not right and caught my dad before he fell onto the floor. My dad was sent to the nearest hospital, Khoo Teck Phuat Hospital. When we rushed to the hospital, we couldn’t see him yet as he was undergoing CT scan, etc. When he was pushed to the ICU ward, he looked tired and sleepy. I was anxious so i kept asking, ‘are u ok, dad?’ but when he replied, ‘headaches…’ my heart aches so much that i cant but kept sobbing. we do not know what happened as the tests and scans reports are not out yet. The very next day, we couldn’t sleep so we went to the hospital early in the morning. My dad had hemorrhage and was pushed into the operating theatre to put a tubing into the cranial to relieve the pressure in the cranial fluid. I never imagined this, the sight of my dad just make my heart aches to much that i cant look at him. Report’s out, my dad was diagnosed with Cranial Aneurysm and was transferred to NUH.

Back then, we were scared to death and i finally can understand the scene in dramas where family members faint upon hearing the diagnosis from the doctors as I nearly fainted. Cranial Aneurysm is the bulge (‘ballooning of blood vessels’) appearing from the thin blood vessel in the brain which is believed to be a hereditary disease. That time my dad’s life is in danger as the ‘balloons’ bursts thus suffered hemorrhage. A craniotomy (open surgery) is the only viable option for my dad and he went for a 7-9 hours operation the 3rd day. When he was pushed out from the operating theatre, i couldn’t recognized him. his head was wrapped and all the tubings and machines that surround him made tremble with fear. He stayed unconscious for 3 days and unstable (not responsive) in ICU for another 4 days. When he first transferred to normal ward, I felt very relieved as most of the tubings and machines were out of my sight. But when i talked to him, his unresponsiveness led me to dismay again. I am so afraid that he could not recover, etc.

He does not have any memory at all after the surgery. he could remember names and he doesn’t remember where he is; like a new born baby. But he’s smart, he always nods his head whenever nurse or us ask him questions, making us believe that he’s alright. He stayed in NUH for a whole 36days. i visit him almost everyday as I’m schooling so I’m more free. Always visit him in the early morning just to meet my dad’s neurosurgeons and know more about his conditions and recovery. I really have to COUNT MY BLESSINGS that my dad is alright now. his recovery was optimistic except a slight depression. But this incident left me with great impact, I feel very helpless and useless. My dad can actually receive a better medical treatment if we, his children. have gotten him a well-covered insurance. My family is not wealthy at all therefore, we had him to admit at NUH. SO THANKFUL THAT HE’S ALRIGHT! if not, i wouldn’t the usual me.

Therefore, those who read this post, please always have savings and ensure that you and your family members are well insured as anything can happen. According to the doctors, luckily my dad is still young and he does not have any illness such as high blood pressure, high cholesterol level, etc, if not he may not recover fully. Just that the concerns I have now; he cant buy any insurance now as no company dare to insure him. So always remember to stay healthy.

I AM BACK TO THE ‘CHEERFUL OPTIMISTIC GAL’ after unfortunate events. Of course, I GREW STRONGER. its was very stressful then to cope with exams and my dad. During this incident, I also knew how grateful I am to MY LOVELY 2 BROTHERS. Their love for the family is probably the strongest I’ve ever seen amongst all the touching dramas. Their love is also the drive for me to continue my university studies and do my best in it.

p.s My family gave me my dreams that i cant achieve on my own. I will change for them. I’m trying hard to(: May my family be blessed for the rest of the years to come.♥

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